Not just because it's a LOT to tell, but mainly for security reasons as well.
I have not forgotten about blogging. I think about it often. And as usual, I keep waiting for the dust to settle before I "report"... and as usual, that's not really happening.
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Life is very.... "uncomfortable" right now. It's not painful, but it's certainly not pleasant. God is growing us, and stretching us... and it's not enjoyable.
We are quickly approaching another deployment. Our foster case is not ending... it's dragging out, painfully. We also received word that we will be slated to move as soon as possible-maybe during deployment. The program that I was using for homeschool is not a good fit for us. So now that I have found a new program, it has come with a daunting price tag. The public school in our zone will not give us any information about bus routes/times, without enrolling them. I don't want to enroll them until I know these details!
Usually life pulls us "uncomfortably" in one direction. Whether it be military, fostering, school or finances... but never, can I remember it pulling us in each direction simultaneously.
In military, someone else passes down orders and tells us where we will go. Not a "good feeling" for someone like me who is a control freak. But if it's JUST that, I can work hard at letting it slide.
For fostering, we were never in it for adoption to begin with. But that was before we kept the same kids for almost 2 years. Now they are apart of our family in ways we couldn't even begin to describe. However, the case is beyond our control. We don't get to have a say in where they go...yet. We basically feel like we are fighting for kids we don't have rights to. We are quickly trying to resolve this obstacle before deployment. But it's a ticking time bomb. Makes me nervous.
Hitting brick walls with schooling is the icing on the cake. You can't pull money out of thin air.... and knowing what fostering & deployment have in store, we need to save all the money we can.
Because nothing is "official" as far as military orders or fostering demands... we have no way of knowing if the two time frames (one for adoption-one for moving) will coordinate in a way that will allow us to take the foster kids with us when we move.Everything is out of our control... completely.
Throw little life events into that:
*an unexpected ambulance ride
*a possible surgery for K to remove adenoids due to sleep apnea
*cold/flu season coming
I think I've taken all I can at the moment. It's so much to think about... and yet, I shouldn't waste time thinking about any of it, because it's all out of my control. Every morning and every evening we come together and "de-frag" about these life events. Our vacation away from military life is coming to an end this week and then it's just crazy hectic up until he ships off.
I'm hopeful and scared all at the same time. This is FORCING me to "let go", and it's a good life lesson. I just don't like learning it.
I just want to punch fear in the face....
ps: I need new family pics on this blog! Guess I'll work on that :)
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