Giggles

A lot of people (well, not a lot, but those that have taken time to email or call me aka: the old fashioned way) have commented how much they miss my funnies. So.. for you, I've compiled a list of my "thoughts" that I've been harboring for the day I reactivate my FB account.

*Some days I just have to repeatedly tell myself, "If Britney Spears can make it through 2007, I can make it through today."

*Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you can’t use any swear words.

*I wish there were a medium version of "caps lock" to show you’re enthusiastic about what you're saying, but it's not mistaken for angry yelling.

*I procrastinate so much, I procrastinate the procrastination. 

*I don't have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve. 

*If you want me to go running with you, I’m going to need some motivation…like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.

*I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?

*The way some people find fault, you’d think there was some kind of reward.

*I am not a mind reader…Please adjust your communication skills accordingly.

*Cops sent me a picture of me speeding through a red light so I sent them a picture of a check. Hope we’re even.

*I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

* "Can you not" has been my mental response to almost everything these days.