Reassurance

Glad I posted last night.

This morning, I was startled awake by my three year old, who crawled in bed complaining of a tummy ache. He's been doing this for a few days, and I have been thinking it's gas, or anxiousness about daddy getting ready to leave again. So I cuddled him for about half a second before he said "I need to throw up!"

Well, if you don't know this by now, I'm telling you: I have Emetophobia. It's a real thing folks! I act the way a mother is supposed to act. I am comforting, accommodating-but in a desperate, cannot explain it with words, panic.

If the episode happens more than once (like most do), the fear compounds and I sometimes have to go to the ER to feel better. Stupid right? I start shaking, my blood pressure sky rockets, my pulse races, I have very irrational fears about vomiting. Mostly it's a fear of my child dying or that I'm dying.

SO... when I'm home alone, and my child vomits... I am usually beside myself with worry. Mr. T was bent over, making the most horrible sounds and nothing was coming out, for about 10 minutes. I was shaking so bad I dropped the phone twice trying to call my husband. Then, of course with my bad luck, he didn't answer the first time and the second time, my phone literally lost service. Yep... it dropped the call, and would not redial for anything. I set it down, and kneeled by my little man as he finished his episode. I just began praying to myself that I would calm down. Just to think clear and not rush to conclusions. I turned on the bathwater (that's where we throw up.. the bathtub) Because it's the right height and because I think toilet germs should not be near your mouth and running water is typically soothing. Plus, it rinses down immediately so the child (and myself) are not left staring at gross puke which (for me) causes sympathy puking.

Well, once he got up the flem that was upsetting his stomach, he washed his mouth and said "I'm ready for breakfast." Of course I didn't let him eat right away. He's been fine the rest of the day. It seemed to be old congestion deep in his belly that was causing the pain and vomit. Once it was up and out of his system, he was instantly better. I have never had that happen or seen it happen but my husband did say later, that it happens to him sometimes. IF he had had more than one episode I would be a nervous wreck even still, as I type this. Worried if my other kids would catch it. What was causing it... etc. I hate vomit. Thankfully.. I'm fine and so is he.

HOWEVER, when I curled back up in bed with him this morning, and opened my Bible App to see if I could go back to sleep.. the first thing it opened to, was what I had highlighted and bookmarked last night!  :) HE said he would be here for me. HE even reassured me of his presence before I felt like I needed Him. I even think my phone service dropped so that instead of calling my husband, it forced me to kneel down and pray.

Rough morning, but great reassurance.

Off to naps!